Dear God

Bismillahirahmanirrahim

Dear God,

I beg upon you to show me the way. I beg you to guide me in all of my doings. Right me if I'm wrong. And I beg you to grant me peace in everything that I do.

Amin.

Download, Upload

I am happy. I found a bluetooth device lying on my brother's desk.

Now I have sooooooooooooooooooo many music files in my handphone. I'll have a spree choosing my ringtone after this.

I have Flybait's Kenangan Lalu, Art Fazil's Merindu Kepastian, Robbie Williams' Supreme, and Maya's and Wyclef Jean's Ghetto Superstar.

I think I'll download Siti's Cindai and Siti and Noraniza's Hati Kama.

To quote a favourite blogger: mak suka mak suka! *tepuk tangan*

i am feeling campy this morning

Get Your Music Video Code Here | Pimp Your Profile

Get Your Music Video Code Here | Pimp Your Profile

* please switch off the song2play player on the bottom left side of this page, thanks

Kau mau pulang KK?

hellooooo...
helloooo...di mana kau?
aku mau pigi potong seluar.
ada seluar baru lagikah? bila kau mau pulang kk?
ini malam. bapak suruh pulang.
aku sudah dapat gambar kau! aku jeles!!! kenapa rambut dia kusut???
ya kah? muka macam kartunis kan?
ya. pukul berapa kamu punya flight?
ini malam.
sampai bila kamu di kk? abisla kamu bapak suruh kamu kerja di kinarut. kalau nda pun di bangunan persekutuan. mesti bapak bawak kamu jumpa kawan-kawan dia. abis la kau.
ya, kerja di arkib nanti aku kan? muna mau pulang awal.
itulah. kalau aku pulang, aku naik teksi saja, kalau kamu semua pulang, semua mau kena ambil. muna sudah order handbag dari diorang kah?
belum, aku pun mau beli jugak. kau mau kongsi kah? bila kamu balik sini?
nanti hari jumaat. aku nda ada duit bah. aku nda mau kongsi sama kamu.
oklah. bye!
bye!

**********

Yup, I have nothing to tell today. This is the most interesting conversation that I've had today. I'm sure no one wants to know about inventory lists, timetables or the relationship between frequency and pitch.

My sister and my parents are going back to KK tonight. Everybody is jetting off to somewhere, except me. It's been 10 months since I've walked on Sabah earth (dramatic eh?), so I'm getting the KK-blues more frequently.

Time to look up the super saver fares by MAS. Heard that they have started to offer the discounted fares again, after a period of cancelling them.

Got to go, got to burn the calories from kuay teow seafood I ate for lunch.

Let me tell you how it feels...

I saw him today. He's been asking me out, not as a date exactly, just for a drink or ice-cream, and I just can't refuse him this time around.

So we met. Him, me and my two loyal chaperones (one of them was JI). Just in case...

He still looks like the way he had always looked like when we were still dating. Maybe a bit rounder round the tummy, but that's all.

He still calls me Beey.

He still comments on my appearance ('that big bag makes you look older') and my habits ('she's always looking for her keys or her handphone') and his effect on me ('I make you want to go to the toilet').

And then he showed us his son. The son is a carbon-copy of the wife. I was stumped. I did manage to smile, and to let JI hold the baby first.

For a second, looking at JI holding the baby, my heart skipped a beat.

Then I got stumped again. Got stumped big time, baby.

And so I offered to hold the baby. And I was awashed with emotions.



Let me tell you how it feels...

I feel lost. I am lost. You win. No matter where I am now, what I've done, I lost to you.
I feel empty. I feel incomplete.
It feels like you're reaching for something, but you know that you'll never, ever going to get hold of it. And that something is staring at your face.
It feels like you want to smash everything to pieces, but your rational mind prevents you from doing it, and for you to follow your mind instead of your heart, it drains your energy.
I feel weak.

Now I know it is best not to see you again.

So tell me how you feel...

A formally arranged gathering...

..otherwise known as 'meeting'.

It seems that I'm doing a lot of that these days. Some well-planned and informed well in advance; some done adhoc. Like the one that I'm supposed to attend in 30-minutes time.

To those concerned (read: Itot and Fathin), we have received the IDB funding. Now, don't jump with joy just yet (hey, that's a good phrase to use in Akademi Fantasia's drama class!); it is actually a good news with lots of strings attached to it. At least for me...

Let's see...we have the money, and we have to spend it within 3 years. The thing is, we are tied to buy the things that we have asked for. It's like going to Ikea with your boyfriend, and you get the small naked pencil (it does look naked, doesn't it?) and that small piece of paper, and you start writing down the pieces that you would love to buy, and then when you got married, somehow a long-lost uncle bestowed you a certain amount of money with the condition that you MUST buy all the things that you have listed. Now, it doesn't sound too bad, does it? The catch is - you are still living with your mother, and the only space that you can claim as your own is the 10'x10' bedroom that you and your husband sleep in.

Get my drift?

Ooops...3.15 already. Got to go!

Not a good start

Have you ever come across a day where everything starts wrong? When your cat refuses to be outside because the stupid kucing entah sapa punya thinks that your cat is a nailfile and therefore can be used to sharpen her claws? And when you've finally reached your office, you realise that your PC is having one of it's latter-day-Watson Nyambek days and starts to run real slow?

I'm having one of those days.

My consolation is that I'll be in KL this evening, watching Disney Channel on my mom's 29" TV, eating home-cooked rice and lauk.

And book-browsing at Kinokuniya on a weekday. Plus cuci mata kat KLCC heheh...

And treating my sister to a nice meal, because she got me an autograph from Art Fazil *swoon*, and bought me a shirt from one of the European cities she visited recently. Secret Recipe if the shirt is so-so (e.g. H&M label), Sari Ratu if it's MNG- or Kookai-equivalent, Chili's if it's something from Moschino or the like. (Yes, I can be shallow sometimes.)

But first, I have to reply all these emails, schedule all these classes, justify the department's budget, rescue that makcik in distress, save the hawksbill turtle from extinction (telur penyu jenis ni sedap tau!) and promote world peace.

Daaa!

Meme, youyou

It's 5.40 pm, and I'm still at the office. My 'things-to-do-today' plan (konon-konon plan la kan...hehe...) went haywire for unavoidable reasons. Since I'll be away from the office starting Wednesday, my bertanggungjawab-self feels I have to finish as much as possible work before I go to KL.

But all work and no play makes me a dull and angry girl, so I thought I'd do this meme. Copied it from some site given by google.

LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW:
Dewa - Pupus...kusut siot!

WHERE DO U WANT TO GO ON UR HONEYMOON?
Disneyworld Florida

WHO DID YOU LAST PHONE?
Official call: someone in UIA Gombak; personal call: me mom

WORST THING ABOUT OPPOSITE SEX?
They only want girls with big boobs

NIGHT OR DAY?
Day - it's when the shops are open

HAVE YOU EVER...........

LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY?
Alas, yes. He's not worth it, though....

BROKEN THE LAW?
Yes, at least once a week when I went over the speed-limit.

BROKEN A BONE?
No.

SKINNY DIPPED?
No, but I would like to...

PLAYED STRIP POKER
No, but I would like to, too....heheh

COME CLOSE TO DYING?
Alhamdulillah no. Unless you count the time I had a nervous breakdown and had difficulty breathing...I felt like I was floating when I reached the hospital...

BEEN IN A SAUNA?

Yes. Good for scrubbing off your daki...

SWAM IN THE OCEAN?
Yeah...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE FOLLOWING:

SCARS?
They look hideous on women, sexy on men...

COUNTRY MUSIC?
The singers always look smug during the Grammy, don't they?

CLASSICAL
Is meant to be played full-volume

RAP
hahahahhaa...My days of rap are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over...

R'n'B:
Best listened during rainy, gloomy days

POP
should be taken with a pinch of salt...(what am I talking about??)

ROCK
Kapak is the best.

TECHNO
Reminds me of my teens; I used to buy the Techno-Classical music albums then....eeww..

SOAP OPERAS?
They are like Twisties, they do nothing to your health and yet they are addictive.

SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No, I'd sneeze a lot if I do. Adults who still do that are trying hard to retain their remaining childhood cuteness, I think...

LIKE TO PARTY?
No, I'm a party-pooper

WOULD YOU .....

EAT A LIVE HAMSTER FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?
No.

GO TO A HANSON CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET?
Of course hahahahahahahahahaha

KILL SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T KNOW FOR 15 BILLION DOLLARS?
And then get convicted and unable to spend all that money? No.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE MOTTO?
Hm....?

IF YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND IT WOULD HURT THEM IF THEY FOUND OUT, WOULD YOU TELL THEM?
Only if he/she hurts me first...hahahahahahha...*evil laugh*