Run To You

Found this while surfing youtube: a clip waaaaaaaaay back from the time when Kevin Costner was the heartthrob of the moment.

Still think that men in white shirts are the sexiest.

Mr. Aku-jiwang-kat-kau-lah, this song is for you.

More than one way?

Yup, jiwang again (naturally)...

I am confused. With all his barrage of questions, I can only think of one question to ask him: Why do you care?

Maybe I shouldn't be so cynical.

I am really out of my mind.

Jujur

What is love?

• "Love is like the sunshine; no matter how tightly you shut down your heart, the sunlight will find a way to shine into it. Love’s process is unstoppable." Nurmuhemmet Yasin
• "Love is a profound feeling of tender affection for or intense attraction to another. It is considered a deep, ineffable feeling shared in passionate or intimate interpersonal relationships." Wikipedia

Love can be calculated!

Aku rasa nak termuntah

Pernah tak korang kusut sangat, sampai rasa nak termuntah? Ni bukan termuntah macam kena keracunan makanan tu; ni lebih kepada rasa nak muntah sebelum masuk dewan periksa masa SPM, atau sebelum nak cakap kat orang yang kita minat gila yang kita minat gila kat dia, atau sementara nak tunggu keputusan ujian HIV punya rasa nak muntah.

Aku tak tahu sangat kenapa aku rasa macam tu sekarang. Yang aku tau, aku dah ambik SPM lebih sepuluh tahun lepas (ops...); aku belum nak cakap kat orang yang aku minat yang aku minat gila kat dia, atau ambik ujian HIV.

Sedang dilanda tekanan kah aku? Mungkin.
Sedang menahan perasaan kah aku? Mungkin juga.

Atau mungkin juga aku dah kenyang sangat makan nasik lemak kat kopitiam tadi.

Perit

It's hard to swallow things that are close to your heart, your soul and your body. Yesterday and today has been quite hard on me, I think. Nobody I can actually blame, though. Except stupid, heartless people, and that includes myself.
I'd been hit left, right and center. Yesterday was the start of everything. I thought I could hide my jealousy, but somehow I was not that good an actress I thought I was. So much for the professional, non-committal, more-or-less expressionless expression I thought I was trained well to put on. After all the years of trying not to give any visual cues to the patients and their parents (in much more ways than one), in the end, my heart and soul won. My emotions shone through my eyes like the beam used by Scotty to transport Spock or Capt. Kirk in Star Trek.
I was hit again today. By statements that were unfair, and not well-researched. Even the questions were quite unfair themselves. I admit I have not told those people the whole truth, but do I really need to?

Maybe I do....

Whatever it is,

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang t'lah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah

(Kenangan Terindah - Samsons)

I am kusut...

...and at the same time, I am happy.

Went out for that date. We went to Pan Pacific for the IDP Education Fair (skema kan?), and then to The Mall for lunch, and then to KLCC to watch Remp-It (yes, I like Zulhuzaimy enough to watch this film).

But we ended up not watching Remp-It - too many people and the tickets were sold out; it's cuti sekolah, after all. We ended up shopping for my cousin's wedding gift and a deep-fryer, and having coffee, and talking about nearly everything. And also tit-watching (somehow many of my guy friends feel comfortable enough to discuss other women's tits with me. I wonder why...).

So now I am kusut, but together with it comes that elated feeling, that euphoria, that feeling that makes you smile out of the blue. That feeling of knowing that you will remember this date for years to come.

OK, I'm making myself kusut again.

Got to go to Bangi and learn how to cook udang masak sambal petai from Nenek now. To ask Mak will only make her suspicious....

Milestones

Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments - Rose Kennedy


I passed another milestone today - I went out with a married man. This is not the case of Datuk K-Siti kind of relationship; I went out with a young(er) man who is also married. And neither is it a case of going out with your married old buddy from high school. This is different, and it is complicated.

It's complicated because I think I have a little bit of feeling for him. And it's difficult, because I can't show it, and I can't even hope on it. Sure you can give it just a little teeny weeny of hope, but trust me, you somehow know that there is 99% chance of you not making it into reality.

And what makes me kusut now is that I agreed to go out with him again tomorrow. C'est la vie...

Dear God

Bismillahirahmanirrahim

Dear God,

I beg upon you to show me the way. I beg you to guide me in all of my doings. Right me if I'm wrong. And I beg you to grant me peace in everything that I do.

Amin.

Download, Upload

I am happy. I found a bluetooth device lying on my brother's desk.

Now I have sooooooooooooooooooo many music files in my handphone. I'll have a spree choosing my ringtone after this.

I have Flybait's Kenangan Lalu, Art Fazil's Merindu Kepastian, Robbie Williams' Supreme, and Maya's and Wyclef Jean's Ghetto Superstar.

I think I'll download Siti's Cindai and Siti and Noraniza's Hati Kama.

To quote a favourite blogger: mak suka mak suka! *tepuk tangan*

i am feeling campy this morning

Get Your Music Video Code Here | Pimp Your Profile

Get Your Music Video Code Here | Pimp Your Profile

* please switch off the song2play player on the bottom left side of this page, thanks

Kau mau pulang KK?

hellooooo...
helloooo...di mana kau?
aku mau pigi potong seluar.
ada seluar baru lagikah? bila kau mau pulang kk?
ini malam. bapak suruh pulang.
aku sudah dapat gambar kau! aku jeles!!! kenapa rambut dia kusut???
ya kah? muka macam kartunis kan?
ya. pukul berapa kamu punya flight?
ini malam.
sampai bila kamu di kk? abisla kamu bapak suruh kamu kerja di kinarut. kalau nda pun di bangunan persekutuan. mesti bapak bawak kamu jumpa kawan-kawan dia. abis la kau.
ya, kerja di arkib nanti aku kan? muna mau pulang awal.
itulah. kalau aku pulang, aku naik teksi saja, kalau kamu semua pulang, semua mau kena ambil. muna sudah order handbag dari diorang kah?
belum, aku pun mau beli jugak. kau mau kongsi kah? bila kamu balik sini?
nanti hari jumaat. aku nda ada duit bah. aku nda mau kongsi sama kamu.
oklah. bye!
bye!

**********

Yup, I have nothing to tell today. This is the most interesting conversation that I've had today. I'm sure no one wants to know about inventory lists, timetables or the relationship between frequency and pitch.

My sister and my parents are going back to KK tonight. Everybody is jetting off to somewhere, except me. It's been 10 months since I've walked on Sabah earth (dramatic eh?), so I'm getting the KK-blues more frequently.

Time to look up the super saver fares by MAS. Heard that they have started to offer the discounted fares again, after a period of cancelling them.

Got to go, got to burn the calories from kuay teow seafood I ate for lunch.

Let me tell you how it feels...

I saw him today. He's been asking me out, not as a date exactly, just for a drink or ice-cream, and I just can't refuse him this time around.

So we met. Him, me and my two loyal chaperones (one of them was JI). Just in case...

He still looks like the way he had always looked like when we were still dating. Maybe a bit rounder round the tummy, but that's all.

He still calls me Beey.

He still comments on my appearance ('that big bag makes you look older') and my habits ('she's always looking for her keys or her handphone') and his effect on me ('I make you want to go to the toilet').

And then he showed us his son. The son is a carbon-copy of the wife. I was stumped. I did manage to smile, and to let JI hold the baby first.

For a second, looking at JI holding the baby, my heart skipped a beat.

Then I got stumped again. Got stumped big time, baby.

And so I offered to hold the baby. And I was awashed with emotions.



Let me tell you how it feels...

I feel lost. I am lost. You win. No matter where I am now, what I've done, I lost to you.
I feel empty. I feel incomplete.
It feels like you're reaching for something, but you know that you'll never, ever going to get hold of it. And that something is staring at your face.
It feels like you want to smash everything to pieces, but your rational mind prevents you from doing it, and for you to follow your mind instead of your heart, it drains your energy.
I feel weak.

Now I know it is best not to see you again.

So tell me how you feel...

A formally arranged gathering...

..otherwise known as 'meeting'.

It seems that I'm doing a lot of that these days. Some well-planned and informed well in advance; some done adhoc. Like the one that I'm supposed to attend in 30-minutes time.

To those concerned (read: Itot and Fathin), we have received the IDB funding. Now, don't jump with joy just yet (hey, that's a good phrase to use in Akademi Fantasia's drama class!); it is actually a good news with lots of strings attached to it. At least for me...

Let's see...we have the money, and we have to spend it within 3 years. The thing is, we are tied to buy the things that we have asked for. It's like going to Ikea with your boyfriend, and you get the small naked pencil (it does look naked, doesn't it?) and that small piece of paper, and you start writing down the pieces that you would love to buy, and then when you got married, somehow a long-lost uncle bestowed you a certain amount of money with the condition that you MUST buy all the things that you have listed. Now, it doesn't sound too bad, does it? The catch is - you are still living with your mother, and the only space that you can claim as your own is the 10'x10' bedroom that you and your husband sleep in.

Get my drift?

Ooops...3.15 already. Got to go!

Not a good start

Have you ever come across a day where everything starts wrong? When your cat refuses to be outside because the stupid kucing entah sapa punya thinks that your cat is a nailfile and therefore can be used to sharpen her claws? And when you've finally reached your office, you realise that your PC is having one of it's latter-day-Watson Nyambek days and starts to run real slow?

I'm having one of those days.

My consolation is that I'll be in KL this evening, watching Disney Channel on my mom's 29" TV, eating home-cooked rice and lauk.

And book-browsing at Kinokuniya on a weekday. Plus cuci mata kat KLCC heheh...

And treating my sister to a nice meal, because she got me an autograph from Art Fazil *swoon*, and bought me a shirt from one of the European cities she visited recently. Secret Recipe if the shirt is so-so (e.g. H&M label), Sari Ratu if it's MNG- or Kookai-equivalent, Chili's if it's something from Moschino or the like. (Yes, I can be shallow sometimes.)

But first, I have to reply all these emails, schedule all these classes, justify the department's budget, rescue that makcik in distress, save the hawksbill turtle from extinction (telur penyu jenis ni sedap tau!) and promote world peace.

Daaa!

Meme, youyou

It's 5.40 pm, and I'm still at the office. My 'things-to-do-today' plan (konon-konon plan la kan...hehe...) went haywire for unavoidable reasons. Since I'll be away from the office starting Wednesday, my bertanggungjawab-self feels I have to finish as much as possible work before I go to KL.

But all work and no play makes me a dull and angry girl, so I thought I'd do this meme. Copied it from some site given by google.

LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW:
Dewa - Pupus...kusut siot!

WHERE DO U WANT TO GO ON UR HONEYMOON?
Disneyworld Florida

WHO DID YOU LAST PHONE?
Official call: someone in UIA Gombak; personal call: me mom

WORST THING ABOUT OPPOSITE SEX?
They only want girls with big boobs

NIGHT OR DAY?
Day - it's when the shops are open

HAVE YOU EVER...........

LOVED SOMEBODY SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY?
Alas, yes. He's not worth it, though....

BROKEN THE LAW?
Yes, at least once a week when I went over the speed-limit.

BROKEN A BONE?
No.

SKINNY DIPPED?
No, but I would like to...

PLAYED STRIP POKER
No, but I would like to, too....heheh

COME CLOSE TO DYING?
Alhamdulillah no. Unless you count the time I had a nervous breakdown and had difficulty breathing...I felt like I was floating when I reached the hospital...

BEEN IN A SAUNA?

Yes. Good for scrubbing off your daki...

SWAM IN THE OCEAN?
Yeah...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE FOLLOWING:

SCARS?
They look hideous on women, sexy on men...

COUNTRY MUSIC?
The singers always look smug during the Grammy, don't they?

CLASSICAL
Is meant to be played full-volume

RAP
hahahahhaa...My days of rap are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over...

R'n'B:
Best listened during rainy, gloomy days

POP
should be taken with a pinch of salt...(what am I talking about??)

ROCK
Kapak is the best.

TECHNO
Reminds me of my teens; I used to buy the Techno-Classical music albums then....eeww..

SOAP OPERAS?
They are like Twisties, they do nothing to your health and yet they are addictive.

SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
No, I'd sneeze a lot if I do. Adults who still do that are trying hard to retain their remaining childhood cuteness, I think...

LIKE TO PARTY?
No, I'm a party-pooper

WOULD YOU .....

EAT A LIVE HAMSTER FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?
No.

GO TO A HANSON CONCERT IF YOU HAD A FREE TICKET?
Of course hahahahahahahahahaha

KILL SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T KNOW FOR 15 BILLION DOLLARS?
And then get convicted and unable to spend all that money? No.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE MOTTO?
Hm....?

IF YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE AND IT WOULD HURT THEM IF THEY FOUND OUT, WOULD YOU TELL THEM?
Only if he/she hurts me first...hahahahahahha...*evil laugh*

My Top Ten (Material) Wish List

1. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes collection
2. Dress made by Rizalman Ibrahim
3. A treadmill (hahahaha...)
4. An ice-cream maker
5. A self portrait
6. A pair of LV shoes
7. Satin pyjamas
8. Bosch fridge
9. A complete collection of Search songs
10. Roberto Carlos' Brasil jersey

Jiwang

Wise men say only fools rush in,
but I can't help falling in love with you....

Shall I stay? Would it be a sin
if I can't help falling in love with you?

Tiba-tiba rasa jiwang hari ni. Entah kenapa; sebab hujan kot. Tak pun sebab tadi pegi makan sorang-sorang kat Giant. Tak pun post-menstrual syndrome hahaha...Terasa kesepian la kononnya. Terus rasa rindu kat seseorang. Dan terpaksalah seseorang itu menerima SMS feeling-feeling rindu hahaha...pandai-pandai la dia; tak nak jawab pun takpe...Susah la rasa jiwang-jiwang ni...

Okey, kena sambung kerja. Tak boleh layan emosi lebih-lebih; tak pasal-pasal kena datang opis hari Ahad pulak nanti.

Hujan

It's started to rain again in Kuantan. It rained heavily yesterday and cats and dogs early this morning, and now, a downpour again.

I'm still to gaining the momentum to do work, after 2 weeks spent sitting and listening to people's rantings (and nodding off now and then). My desk is a mess. Even my pigeonhole is a mess! Thank God my life is not a mess (yet..)..

We're supposed to train for futsal today, but it's cancelled (yay!). Should I go for a walk again? Maybe I should, at least I'll have a good sleep from all the tiredness...

My right arm is aching, and my right hand doesn't feel right (no pun intended). A bit worried now, hopefully it's just carpal tunnel syndrome. Should remind myself to book an appointment with the orthopaedic specialist tomorrow...

Yeah, I AM procrastinating. Maybe I'll make that call to that person tonight...We'll see...

Jangan diucap selamat tinggal kepadaku...

...walaupun seketika
walaupun sekelip mata
simpan saja kata kata
ke akhir hayat yang ada...


I've been in KL for a week. Had to attend a course here for the whole of last week. Have to go for the second leg of the course again tomorrow and the day after.

So much has happened the past one week. So much that it has left me in hope, in fear and in confusion.

I'm still confused, so it's unfair for me to burden you with the tales now. I'll try to sort it as soon as possible. However, I'll leave you with one weighty question; a question whose answer I'm still searching hard for:

'Say you got to know someone 13 years ago, during your schooldays. And say that since leaving school, you have no contact whatsoever with this someone. Say this someone managed to get your phone number and called you. And during the second phone call that he made in 13 years, just a day after the first, he said that he liked you. He said that he liked you on those schooldays 13 years ago, and then lost you, and then found you again, and he's not going to lose you again. And he asked you whether or not you will accept him. What will your answer be?'

GBF ku...

GBF telepon lagi pagi tadi. Tepat masa aku baru nak mandi. Harus pegi opis lambat lagi pagi ni...

GBF memang macam tu - telepon waktu orang baru nak bangun tido, waktu orang nak bukak puasa, waktu orang baru tersedar yang orang tak sembahyang Maghrib lagi (sebab tengok ShinChan, diikuti dengan Doraemon)...

Aku kenal GBF tahun 1997 kot...tak pun 1998. Takde lah dah lama sangat. Kitorang mula rapat masa kitorang pegi Pulau Perhentian. Pegi dengan anak dekan dia pulak tu. Pernah korang merasa dekan hantar ke stesen bas? Siap babai-babai kat pintu bas lagi.

Sejak tu lah GBF jadi tempat mengadu. Dialah jadi Cik Sri Siantan. Dialah yang aku telepon pukul 3 pagi kalau tak boleh tido. Dialah jadi proxy penerima bunga dan Winnie the Pooh dari sorang 'spare boyfriend', sebab aku tak nak kantoi dengan boifren masa tu.

Sekarang GBF kat luar negeri, tak lama lagi nak balik. Tak sabar tunggu GBF balik hahaha...nak ajak lepak kat Mosin TTDI tengok abang-abang Satria GTi, nak ajak pegi Galeri Petronas sambil berangan jumpa Aleksandr Petrovsky, dan nak ajak tengok marathon Sex and the City (season 1-6 at one go, huh?). Nak tunjuk kat dia macamana rupa Khairy Jamaluddin (yummy aku cakap kat ko...), nak bawak dia piknik kat Putrajaya waktu malam sambil tengok jambatan dan lampu (kena ajak mamat kayu sekali ok..), dan nak tunjuk kat dia supermarket kat Malaysia ni takde la ketinggalan - thyme, rosemary, basil, rocket leaves sume ada tau. Jangan nak kekwat dengan aku...

OK-lah, nak balik. Rasa kemalasan yang amat sangat hari ni.

Bulan dipagar bintang

Malam bulan dipagar bintang Makin indah jika dipandang Bagai gadis beri senyuman Pada bujang idaman . Belai kasih ingin dimanja Dengan cumbuan mesra Untuk pelipur lara Penawar dik asmara . Mm .... mm .... mm .... mm ... . Malam bulan dipagar bintang Tambah seri cuaca malam Murni sungguh ciptaan Tuhan Bulan bintang lampu alam . Andai kata bintang menyepi Bulan tidak berseri Malam menjadi sunyi Tidak berseri lagi

Found this song in the computer at home. 'Bulan dipagar bintang' was sung by P. Ramlee and Saloma. The song was written by P. Ramlee and lyrics by S. Sudarmaji. And it's the song my ex-boyfriend used to frequently sing to me...

Yes, I do miss him sometimes. I miss talking to him, mostly. I think he understood me best. He understood me without me having to explain to him. I even thought that he was my soulmate.

But soulmates don't always end up together. Soulmates fight, soulmates leave each other. Or in my case, my soulmate found another person, a person who was able to make him feel as if he's struck with lightning (yes, soulmates tell each other nearly everything, even stories about the other person). So my soulmate left me, and become the soulmate to that other person. I guess we weren't soulmates, after all.

Maybe I'll meet my soulmate, sooner or later. Or maybe 'soulmates' is just a crappy, bulls**t concept.

Pandanglah lihatlah

Tokoh-tokoh korporat....

Me and my siblings. The loves of my life. We are so different from each other, but somehow we share the same 'wavelength'. If we were five different cars in a parking space, a press of the button on one of the remote control thingy would unlock all our doors (yeah, pathetic analogy...can't think of a better one...).

May Allah forgive, protect and bless them.

(p/s: Note the authentic, un-plastic smiles on our faces? The photographer was so good, we were actually giggling throughout the shoot. His secret? He kept saying, 'Yah senyum...senyum nampak gigi..yah...senyum lagi...' with a chinese accent...)

All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl?

Am going back to KL today (yay!). My sister called me two days ago, asking whether I'm driving back to KL for the weekend or not. She called again yesterday. Did not plan to go, initially, but was a bit tempted after those calls haha. Then last night my mom called. Said my dad is coming over to KL, and is going to Langkawi for a meeting middle of next week. And the rest of the family who is not committed (committed? heehee) to the rat race (well, not exactly a rat race, but it does feel that way) will tag along. So they'll need the family's most spacious car. Thus sealing my decision to go back to KL this weekend... Would love to join them in Langkawi, but I guess I have to do with KL. Maybe I'll visit Aquaria this Saturday, just to compensate for missing all the azure crystal-clear water they'll be bathing in (and jet skiing and banana-boating and snorkelling...). Aquaria should be enough 'play' for me :( ...

Argued the matter of 'rest and play' with one of my housemates last night. She took a day off yesterday. When I asked why (earlier in the day), she said she needs to go to the bank and pay the bills, and that she had not taken any leave recently.

So I, with my not-so-logical mind, told her it's easier with Maybank2U, but then she said she doesn't have the account. I said allright, and went on to do my work. And then it struck me that she's the kind who'll go to the office on Saturdays AND Sundays (and even on public holidays!), and work her ass off from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (and sometimes later than that). I bet my finger* she'll do that this weekend. Me, I'd rather work my ass off (although I don't think I'm doing it right, as my ass is not getting any smaller) on a weekday, and get my rest on the weekends, when everybody is also getting their days off, and is least likely to call me up to ask on things concerning work.

Therefore, during dinner, I asked her:

'Are you going to the office this weekend?'

She said, 'Yes'.

'Why didn't you just work today, and do the things you needed to do on the weekend? I'd say it's easier that way.' (My below-average logic mind going on overdrive...)

'I can concentrate on my work on the weekend.'

'But then, what about those people who came looking for you and found that you are on leave? They'll be looking for you again next week, anyway. Might as well attend to them, and have the weekend for yourself. No need to go to the office on Saturdays or Sundays. Have it all over and done with on the weekdays.'

'The students are not around. They'll not be looking for me.'

'The people who are looking for your help are not necessarily students...' (I should have gone into legal practice/politics...)

'Why do people question me on when I'm taking my leave? Other people take their days off, too, but no one's questioning them!'

'Whatever. Take your leave. Take a week off, if you must; I don't care'.

Cue: two annoyed girls go into silence. One spectator, caught in the middle of the firing range, looks ill at ease.

* I bet my finger: My GBF has this saying 'Kerat jari aku kalau...' (roughly translated: 'I dare to cut my finger off if.....') when he wants to bet on things. Recently he wagered his finger on a bet with a friend, and the friend won. I asked him which finger will go, and he said he's exchanged the finger with a dinner at Nando's.

Jangan main mercun

Husband orang dah takde SMS-SMS lagi dah. Takde lagi lah stok geli-geli. Best jugak bila ada stok geli-geli ni, tapi bak kata sorang kawan kat Segamat, "bayangkan kalau mak kita kat tempat wife dia". Terus tak jadi. Takut diri sendiri pun terberada di tempat yang sama. Orang putih pun kata, 'what goes around comes around'. Versi melayu nya: 1) Dunia ini ibarat roda, sekejap di atas, sekejap di bawah, atau 2) (versi bahasa pasar) Pusing-pusing, balik-balik kat situ jugak. Maaf lah takde peribahasa yang lebih klasik ala-ala Datuk Karam Singh Walia.

Banyak kekusutan lah hari ni. Ada satu dua yang selesai - e.g. cukai pendapatan, jadual kasar sapa nak ajar apa... Tapi ada BERLAMBAK lagi kekusutan yang menunggu untuk diselesaikan. Kalaulah kekusutan itu ibarat duit, mesti aku dah bawak Mercedes CLK sekarang. Paling cikai pun Honda Civic lah...

Tadi ada sorang rakan sekerja tanya, 'Tak cuti ke?'. Aku pun terbalas dengan 'Huh? Cuti?'. Katanya, 'Yelah dah hujung-hujung cuti semester ni orang ramai yang cuti jugak'. Aku terus terdiam. Terus teringat KK. Terus teringat janji pada diri sendiri nak balik Sabah masa cuti ni. Terus teringat aktiviti-aktiviti bawak mak pegi bank/KLCC/clubhouse/bayar bil dari pagi hari sampai petang hari. Atau paling cikai pun, aktiviti tukar-tukar channel Astro sambil kunyah Twisties. Lepas tu terus teringat surat-surat yang tak tertulis lagi, research proposal yang tak mula lagi, supervisor/pensyarah yang tak ditelefon lagi.... Semobile mana kita sebenar-benarnya?

Aku rindu dengan ke'bourgeois'an KK agaknya.

Playing with fire

I'm playing with fire. I'm exchanging SMSes with someone's husband. One way to justify my actions is that I know him first; he was my high school classmate. Now I can quite understand why and how these things happen. The allure....my, my.... this is the grown-up version of breaking the school laws and regulation. The high is similar to the feelings you get when you wear the baju kurung sekolah with balcony bras and without camisole...

I should stop it now, shouldn't I?

I've caught the Blogthing fever again

Who Should Paint You: Pablo Picasso

Your an expressive soul who shows many emotions, with many subtleties Only a master painter could represent your glorious contradictions

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky. In fights, you are able to walk away and calm down. You are able to weather the storm. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

Your Career Type: Realistic

You are practical and mechanical. Your talents lie in working with tools, mechanical or electrical drawings, machines, or animals. You would make an excellent: Carpenter - Diesel Mechanic - Electrician Farmer - Fire Fighter - Flight Engineer Forester - Locksmith - Locomotive Engineer Pilot - Police Officer - Truck Driver The worst career options for your are social careers, like social worker or teacher.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Mana 'audiologist'nya???

What do you do when you are not appreciated?

You move on. You move. You move to another job, another state, another country.

Chatted with a colleague yesterday. Something that he said hurt me quite a lot. Reading his statement, I felt unwanted, unappreciated and obsolete. I felt like all the little contributions that I gave here is useless.

Should start looking for greener pastures, then. Why stay in dry, boring Kuantan, especially when one is not needed anymore?

Mari membaca

Semalam pegi kedai buku Popular kat Megamall (Berjaya, bukan MidValley). Korek sana korek sini, jumpa la buku cerita yang macam OK, tapi murah... Tak pernah pulak jumpa buku cerita macam tu kat KL; diorang sorok kot, tak pun buku tu tak laku kat sini, jadi terpaksa la turunkan harga.
Pastu ingatkan nak cari set watercolour dengan berus dengan drawing paper sekali. Kononnya nak cuba-cuba buat lukisan la. Dalam nak pergi ke bahagian alatulis tu, ternampak sorang mat rempit pakai seluar pendek duduk tersandar kat satu rak buku.

Mat rempit tu nampak sangat selekeh...

Dia juga tengah membaca...

Biarpun dia baca komik, tapi dia membaca.

Gua respek lu brader!

Jemputlah...

Bukan jemputan kawin haha... Ni nak menjemput ke blog saya yang lagi satu : http://kusutdanjiwang.blogs.friendster.com/

Macam Batman pulak, ada double life ye. Bercakap tentang Batman, kat Parkson ada jual cadar Batman yang menarik. Rasa macam nak beli hari tu (merasalah tidur dengan Batman...ooops...) tapi mahalnya...Bedsheet Queen Size pun dah dekat RM100. Baik la mengketedarah kat Secret Recipe macam tu.

Nak jemputan kawin, tunggulah 29 Februari tahun depan (2 minggu lepas Valentine's Day). Jangan lupa datang tau...

Batman: Jejaka Idaman

Sejuk-sejuk best tido...

Ngantuknya rasa hari ni. Sanggup tak pegi makan tengahari; duduk kat bilik yang sejuk macam Cameron Highlands, sambungkan dua kerusi, pastu mengerekot tido... Bila terjaga, muka dah ada 'grooves' corak bunga-bunga sebab pipi himpit rantai tangan. Sedapnya tido... Kalau dah ngantuk kan, memana pun boleh...

Mak memang selalu kata, "Kau mana-mana je boleh terlelap". Antara tempat-tempat tido tidak konvensional yang pernah memberikan tidur yang lena ialah

1. Koc berkatil KTM - ambik yang double-decker tingkat atas. Lenanya tido... sampai konduktor kejut "Kuala Kangsar dik..Kuala Kangsar..." dua tiga kali, tak bangun-bangun jugak. Malunyaaaa!
2. Jeti belakang Hyatt Kinabalu - ni pengalaman yang tak dapat dilupakan. Masa tu tingkatan 4, baru balik rumah untuk cuti semester. Tak sampai sehari duduk rumah, ayah dah ajak pegi pulau. Sementara tunggu bot sampai, baring je la kat pangkin jeti tu. Rupa-rupanya tertido dekat sejam hahaha. Habisla orang ingat pendatang haram...
3. Katil kanvas, khemah Ekspedisi Sayap Kinabalu - mana tak lena, sepanjang hari naik bukit turun bukit. Tapi kalau dah tido dengan nyenyak dalam keadaan macam tu 9 malam berturut-turut, kira okay la kan....
4. Atas tikar - tempat lepak paling best kalau cuaca panas. Lagi best kalau ada aksesori bantal kekabu, majalah URTV & kucing untuk digentel sebelum terlelap.

Nak buat kerja lah; boleh balik cepat & sambung tido lagi...

Nama baru ku

Blog ni dah tukar nama baru. Tak nak pakai "the unbearable lightness of being" lagi dah. Ada dua sebab; pertama, dah tak ada rasa ringan pun...makin berat ada lah; kedua, tema "A log of the life of a single female still on the right side of 30" dah tak boleh pakai lagi dah... Kalau pakai jugak, nanti orang kata tak sedar diri pulak.

Nama blog baru ni mungkin tak lah sesofistikated yang dulu. Yang dulu tu kononnya cilok dari tajuk buku yang kononnya penuh sastera (biarpun tak pernah dibaca). Yang ini lebih jujur agaknya - cerita-cerita kejiwangan dan kekusutan dalam pencarian seorang Mr. Right. Tapi taklah cerita jiwang semata-mata; bukan lah minah bunga sangat pun.