It's hard to swallow things that are close to your heart, your soul and your body. Yesterday and today has been quite hard on me, I think. Nobody I can actually blame, though. Except stupid, heartless people, and that includes myself.
I'd been hit left, right and center. Yesterday was the start of everything. I thought I could hide my jealousy, but somehow I was not that good an actress I thought I was. So much for the professional, non-committal, more-or-less expressionless expression I thought I was trained well to put on. After all the years of trying not to give any visual cues to the patients and their parents (in much more ways than one), in the end, my heart and soul won. My emotions shone through my eyes like the beam used by Scotty to transport Spock or Capt. Kirk in Star Trek.
I was hit again today. By statements that were unfair, and not well-researched. Even the questions were quite unfair themselves. I admit I have not told those people the whole truth, but do I really need to?
Maybe I do....
Whatever it is,
Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku
Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupku
Yang t'lah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah
(Kenangan Terindah - Samsons)
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