The wheels are in motion

Today I cancelled an important booking for a supposedly important event; something I've been procrastinating on. One down, two more to go. Hoping that by the end of this exercise, God will grant me a clear mind and a bit of peace and tranquility, insyaAllah.

Hit

Was surfing Facebook when I came across a photo of him. Was hit by a sudden realisation that, after all the angry words we exchanged with each other, I really am in love with him.

I am turning soppy.

Meaningful things

Everybody has at least one. Be it a favourite shirt, an heirloom ring, the entrance ticket to the Louvre. Everybody has at least an item that they would consider as memorable, a piece of memorabilia never to be given to anybody else as it carries a significant story of that person's life.

Short of being a hoarder, I am that sort of person that collects those items. I keep meaningful ticket stubs - movie tickets, flight tickets, museum and zoo tickets... I keep bottles of perfume that were given to me as a present, workbooks from secondary school classes, novels that I couldn't put down when I read them.

Now I have a few items that perhaps have lost their purpose, but they carry so much meaning for me that they become a part of my life, and represent a story of me, a story that contains both joy and sorrow. To give them away would mean giving a part of me away, and deny myself that story, and I am not ready to do that. All I can do is pray that they regain their purpose again.

Air

No more tears to shed. I am done being hopeful. Life goes on, and hopefully (ha!) wounds heal over time.

Until then, life will sound like this song:

What these past 2 months taught me

I came back to Malaysia to avoid fasting in long summer days, as well as hoping that I would be a changed person by the time I'm back in the old Blighty.

I got both wishes.

I got to spend Ramadhan with family and friends. And I got to learn a bit more about me.

As much as I think myself as spontaneous, I realise that is not the case. I do plan, and I do want to stick to my plan.

As much as I think myself as someone with patience, I learn that impatience is one of my baneful vice.

So, yes, I got what I wished for. I think I am a different person from what I was two months ago.